New From Nicole

I just read Andy Pohl's interview and once again was warmed with gratitude. This whole cancer thing has been an real trip. It's been a year since the diagonois. Sometimes it seems like eternity and other days, it seems like no time at all.
I recently went back to my yoga teacher Katchie Ananda, after thinking I would never do yoga again. I couldn't grasp that I had cancer, after being vegan for 10 years, sober 17, and practicing and teaching yoga for several years. It just didn't make sense. Which is my experience with cancer. It just doesn't make sense, and through surrendering major resentments, driven by a 100 forms of fear, I have finally come to the place of " fuck it". "Fuck it" in the best, freest nature possible. I was becoming obsessed and super rigid with the food I ate (primarily raw), and rigid with Kaitlin, and what she ate. What began to happen was total bondage and isolation. So with paining over trying to be super healthy, I have recently found a new freedom in completely letting go, by getting rid of my fears that were running riot. Thank god for this, because the fears were going to kill me, not the cancer.

I have been forced to really be in the present moment, and found out that this is all that really exist. It is to easy to get caught up in fears about the future, based on the wreckage of the past.

I am glad to be sitting here on the computer, not thinking about anything but written this blog. It has taken a lot of work to get here, and the assistance I have received from YOU, everyone, has helped me so much along this awesome path.

Thank you!

Nicole